The day of photo rendezvous

My first trip to onsite and I was hell excited. Not because I was travelling to a totally unknown country within 1 year of my professional career but more because of my prospect of earning some disposable cash and be able to afford a good digital camera for me. My passion for photography was just kicking in and it was a damn good opportunity for me. After much  online research I zeroed on Canon S3is which I felt was the best choice for me at that point of time (Year 1996). Later I regretted my decision of not buying an SLR but I had my reasons at that time. I had a history of losing my interest in something sooner than I start building it up and I did not want to spend some obnoxious amount on a SLR which I might not have used after buying it.

Cut to 2009, my passion for photography only increased with time as against my other interests (Thanks to my friend Soumyo as well) and now I feel it is the right time to graduate to a SLR. But wait do I need a formal lesson in photography before I embark to a more complicated equipment. I thought NO. In past 3 years I have read a lot about photography ranging from the technicalities like Aperture Settings, Shutter speed, ISO etc to composition details like rule of third, positive and negative spaces, frame with-in a frame and what not, all thanks to vast resource available on net. And photography is something no one can teach you, it has to be felt and understood.

Once while surfing through net, I stumbled across this site by Kalyan Verma, a wildlife photographer from Bangalore. What made me interested in his site was his honesty towards the skill. No frills attached to his calibre and a sober way of exhibiting his works. I have seen many photo blogs where pictures are great but somehow you do not relate to them. There is an air of arrogance associated with those sites which says ‘See how great an artist I am’. I respond humbly, you may be a great one but what to me?

From his site I came to know about the workshop he conducts in Bangalore every month. Although I am not that interested in wildlife photography or rather put it this way I am more interested in fine art/people photography, I thought of giving it a shot.

I reached the venue almost on time that is 9:30 am on a Saturday morning. Some passion drives you to do what you felt would be totally unimaginable otherwise. Getting up early on a Saturday morning is one of them. Attired in starched white shirt and trousers, Kalyan was standing at the gate of hotel. Seeing him so fresh early in the morning I also kicked my sleep away and that set the tone of the two day workshop that was going to start.

It all started with basics of photography. How camera works, how to play with aperture, shutter speed and ISO. What is an exposure and how to get the correct white balance? Even though these were all theoretical in nature but his enthusiasm in the class and an interactive session made sure that everyone has there eyes wide open.

We had a great buffet lunch (Includes in the package) and then started off with the most interesting journey for any photographic workshop or at least for me. Understanding the composition, or to put it simply learning what makes a photograph great. It is good to know the technicalities, but the camera is and should be just a tool at the end of the day. What you click is more important than at what camera settings you click. I felt this was the most informative session of the day where I learnt how small things make all the difference between a normal shot and a great shot.

All in all a great and tiring day with lots of learning to chew.

For me Sunday started at 6 in the morning all thanks to Kalyan. We had to take a field trip to Lalbagh. Needless to say I had never been to Lalbagh that early in the morning and was totally baffled to see the crowd even at that time. People do not sleep even on Sundays. Huh.. Anyways we had great time trying out different things with our cameras and had couple of small sessions on portrait and flash photography. We came back to the hotel and then started with the rest of the session where Kalyan asked everyone to get 5-6 of there best shots and reviewed them. I personally felt it was very informative as only when you review your work you learn about the mistakes and can correct them.

We had a session on post processing and couple of small sessions on cameras gears, which all gears to buy, how to sell your work etc. My biggest takeaway from the workshop was learning how to take my work forward. It gave me a great push towards my passion and will soon have my first SLR. It was awesome interacting with people who share same passion and gave me a great high. I hope my enthusiasm continues. All in all a great workshop and two days well spent.

You may find more details about the workshop at : http://kalyanvarma.net/workshops

My first trip to onsite and I was hell excited. Not because I was travelling to a totally unknown country within 1 year of my professional career but more because of my prospect of earning some disposable cash and be able to afford a good digital camera for me. My passion for photography was just kicking up and it was a damn good opportunity for me. After much of online research I zeroed on Canon S3is which I felt was the best choice for me at that point of time (Year 1996). Later I regretted my decision of not buying an SLR but I had my reasons at that time. I had a history of losing my interest in something sooner than I start building it up and I did not want to spend some obnoxious amount on a SLR which I might not have used after buying it.

Arrogance….

Sometime some thoughts tickle your mind and you come up with a line which you cherish for years to come. This is one line I wrote quite sometime back. Do not get am this arrogant though….

I believe what I believe and I do what I do, it just a coincidence that what I believe and what I do turns right.

After a Long Hiatus….Welcome 2009!!!!!

It’s been sometime, I picked up my Laptop for writing anything. Not because I shunned my passion for writing, but I was busy in a wild goose chase. To tell people who don’t know me personally, I was preparing for CAT (An entrance test for MBA in Indian colleges). For the general knowledge of my esteemed readers, this year there were just 2.76 Lakh (0.276 Million) candidates vying for 1800 seats. So now you know why I say it’s a wild goose chase. But to be true, preparation for MBA has definitely helped me if not getting a seat in some suitable MBA college. Most importantly I got some time to introspect on what I need and want to do in near future. Not that I am better now with my confused self. But at least it made me think away from the dead end of the IT Sector. I am still not very convinced of some solid reason why I should be pursuing an MBA degree except for the fact that I want to get out of IT Sector. Hope better sense prevails in coming days and I am more sure of where am heading. Hey wait…I am not writing this to start cribbing again. I have done enough of that with different set of people time and again.

Actually after a long time, I picked up a book to read. Onitsha by J.M.G. Le Clezio. The book is winner of 2008 Nobel Prize for literature and written in French and translated in English by Alison Anderson. Nice book. Language is not rhetoric but has music like flow. It has the power to sensitize all your sense organs as it is full of atmosphere – sights, sounds and smells. But what is important to me is it brought back the zeal of writing again. With a happening but not so fruitful 2008 behind me, I am actually looking for some sheer commitment from my side in 2009. I have a long list in my mind. Nothing different from 2008 though. The only difference I want this year is my commitment to do things. Let’s see how it goes. First of all there are lots of topics on which I want to write. So would be starting on that soon. So keep checking this space and I promise this place won’t be so dry in days to come. I am also taking my photography passion seriously as well. We took a photography trip to Bannergatta park recently. Please check out the photos in Photo Gallery. Also with CAT out of bag now I have to start the prep for GMAT. So these are the primary things on cards and also planning for some more stuff as well but will take it as it comes. Hoping to keep the creative flame burning within me here goes my first post of 2009.

Her Quondam Lover (Part 1)

Kishore’s room bathed in the basking glory of the gleaming sun and the freshness of the morning that made him happy. He pulled a chair from his study to the balcony and wanted to concentrate on the day’s edition of “The Telegraph”. He could not as his mind wandering over the success or failure of his recent book that released a month back. He had still not heard anything from the publisher yet.

Trrrrriiing…….Trrrrrrriiing.

“Who could be at this hour?” He thought while getting up from his chair.

“Hello”

Mr Bose from Falcon publishing house was on the line. They had been generous enough to publish Kishore’s much coveted writing.

“Mr Mukherjee.” Mr Bose’s enthusiastic voice made Kishore a little anxious. Kishore didn’t realize but his heart beat increased suddenly and body went stiff.

“Yes Mr Bose. Tell me”

“Congratulations…Good News Sir… Your book is getting awesome response. All the copies have already been sold out, and the major book shops are asking for reprint.”

Kishore felt his body relaxing after the news. His heart beat coming to normal.

“Ohh that is great news. Thanks Mr Bose for telling me this. I was little anxious about the result.”

“Yes Yes. I can understand Mr Mukherjee and that’s why, the first thing I did is, call you after getting the news.”

“Ohh Thank you. It was really nice of you.”

“Mr Mukherjee…I have another reason as well. Can you come down to our office today? Falcon publishing house wants to take this relationship a little further with some more projects with you.”

“Ohh sure…I will be there in another hour or two.”

Kishore put the receiver down after saying bye. He felt the morning was even more beautiful. He went to the balcony and sat down wanting to savour the moment. He could see his long cherished dream coming true. He checked the calendar. It was16^th, all his important days in his life was on 16^th. He smiled at the thought even though he was not a superstitious person.

Just when he was about to leave, a postman came and dropped a postcard on his door.

He picked it up and checked the address.

16, Mitra House.

Behala

He turned the postcard to find just two lines in small and girlish handwriting.

How are you? Remember Me?

Piyali Roy (Mitra)

He felt a sudden blankness in his heart. A face came up in front of his eyes. But mind always think in terms of possibilities and he being a rational person himself, discarded the thought. But then who if not her? He had never known any other Piyali Roy in his entire life.

He kept the postcard in his pocket and left for Falcon publishing house.

On his way back home, he bought couple of postcards, even though he was not sure of replying. He found himself replying that very night.

I think I know you, but not very sure. Are you from Jadavpur High School?

Regards,

Kishore Mukherjee.

After two days, when he returned home in the evening saw another postcard lying in front of his door.

Yes I am the same Piyali. Thank you so much that you still remember me. It’s been too long a time to remember someone. So how are you doing lately?

–Piyali

He could not stand in the room any more, his entire body sweating profusely. Kishore went and stood in the balcony staring at the sky. The full moon shined brightly lighting up the otherwise dark and dull Baranagar area. He re read those two lines multiple times in the moonlight. He could still feel the emotions that he felt 10 years ago. It seemed as if a hot cake was baked and buried deep inside the ground 10 years ago in a safe box. Someone poured loads and loads of sand on top of it to hide it from the normal view. Now suddenly it has been dug out of the ground. The cake is still fresh and hot now as it was at that time.

The beautiful face with broad soft cheeks and long curled hair hovered in front of his eyes. Piyali Roy was the moon of Jadavpur High school, as beautiful and bright as the real one. After so many years he can still feel himself like those tiny dots in the sky trying to possess a slice of the moon but too small and insignificant to matter.

Kishore was in class 8^th when he first saw her. She came to his class to meet one his fellow classmate.

He had liked her at once but never did he realised then that her beautiful gleaming eyes and bright smile was there to stay with him for years to come. He was a small thin timid guy who could never muster enough courage to speak to her and in last he left the school after his class 10^th and when she was in class 9^th.

Years after when he tried to enquire about her, found, she had already been married. He had felt the pain, a kind of emptiness in his heart that day but went along with his life totally forgetting her in due course till that day when he got her postcard.

That night standing on his balcony he again felt the aroma of his first love.

Next day he replied again.

Yes I do remember you. Just that never thought of getting a postcard from you though. It was really nice to hear from you after so many years. Hope you are well and happy in your life.

–Kishore

It’s been a week now, and each day after returning home he would look for a postcard. He would reiterate the words he had written and try to analyse each and every line for its meaning and hidden meanings. He could not find anything wrong with what he wrote, but there was a delay in the reply. He felt as anxious for a reply now as he used to feel for her sight years ago. She must be busy in her own house hold chores to care about Kishore and reply to his whimsy letter, he reasoned himself. Next day, after returning to his home in the evening he found another postcard lying in front of his door.

I am good and married for past 8 years. How are aunt and your sister? Hope they are doing well. It’s been such a long time. Thanks to your publisher who gave me your address and other details. I read your book. It was awesome. I really liked it. I saw your pic behind your book. Gosh you have not changed at all. Still the same.

Take care

Piyali

He was surprised by the fact that she noticed him and knew him and his family as well. He was blithely elated by the very thought of getting accepted of his existence by an angelic figure, a seraphic beauty whom he had never imagined would consider him to be a part of her lovely world even if in just some passing thoughts.

Now that he knows that she knew him, his heart filled with joy thinking she had read her book and appreciated it as well. A fact that boosted his confidence more than the contract of next three projects with falcon publishers.

That night he tried writing back to her, but could not get enough words to put on paper. He wanted to meet her, see her, and hear her and that too badly.

(Contd below….)

Her Quondam Lover (Part 2)

Next afternoon, he was searching for Mitra house 26, Behala road. It took couple of enquiries to figure our the Mitra house, a three storey building although little dilapidate with time, but still the grandeur of an bygone era spoke through those walls. He was not sure what he was doing, nor had any idea what he was going to say if someone opens the door.

 

He knocked the door. A female voice enquired.

“Key…?  Who is there??”

 

Kishore was relived hearing the voice; it was still the same, a soft soothing vox. He did not reply anything.

 

Piyali opened the door.

 

A girl of fifteen disguised in women of twenty five, those twinkling bright eyes, her cherub chicks, her soft curled lips and long flowing hair. Beauty has showered herself more on her with passing time. She was wearing a lemon yellow silk saree and that made her beauty bloom like flowers just after the monsoon.

 

“Hi….do you recognize me. Kishore”

 

“Hiiiiiiiiii…” Her face lightened up seeing Kishore.

 

“What a surprise. How could you find up the place. I was just thinking of you only, whether you got the postcard or not. Ohh sorry… sorry… Please…please come inside.”

 

Kishore went inside. Lavishness and prosperity was evident from every corner of the house. Well decorated room with artefact chosen with much care.

 

“It seems you have proved to be a great wife. I must say your choice is very good.”

 

Kishore remarked on her well decorated living room.

 

“I am just trying to be one. You have to ask my husband how much successful I am in that. Please have a seat. Let me get you some water. This place is quite far from your house and its quite hot outside.”

 

Kishore wanted to say, it did not matter how far her house is. He would have taken the pain to go to a totally different city also in case that was required. But he didn’t say anything.

 

“So tell me, how are you? It’s been such a long time that we met each other. A lot must have happened in your life. Tell me in details. ”

 

Piyali tried to start the conversation while handing him the glass of water.

 

“Nothing much, I left Jadavpur High school after 10^th and went to Delhi. After my graduation, I took up a job but my heart was always in writing. So eventually I quit my job and now I am a full time writer.”

 

 

“I loved your book. It is just awesome.” She said indicating the blue covered book on the shelf. He could see his own picture on the back side of the book. It took him days to finalize this picture to be published behind the book. He has seen it millions of times but today, the picture looked new to him. May be he saw it from her point of view.

 

The voice of Piyali awakened him.

 

“What happened, you got lost seeing your own picture” She giggled.

 

“You look really handsome in that pic. Many girls must have fallen for you after reading such a lovely story and more than that seeing such a handsome writer.”

 

Kishore blushed hearing all these. He wanted to change the topic.

 

“So you tell me something about you. About your life after I left.” Kishore said.

 

 “What you want to hear? My life has been quite simple. After you left, when I was in class 12^th my father died. It was a difficult time for us and our area being not that a good place; it became all the very difficult for my family. So my mother thought it would be better to marry me off and I married Rajat. It’s been eight long years now that I am married. That’s it. Nothing much in my life.”

 

A sadness gripped Piyali’s eyes speaking all these and she avoided gaze with Kishore.

 

“Hey I will bring you some ginger tea. I know you used to like it when you were in school. Not sure if you still have the same likings or it changed.”

 

Kishore was surprised to hear that.

 

“You noticed me so much that you know my choices as well!!!!!! I am really surprised and happy to hear that. No I do not change my likings so often. I still love the ginger tea”

 

“Then you are a lucky chap today. I will get you some home baked cake as well. Another thing that you loved like anything”

 

Piyali laughed and went to kitchen. Kishore felt a sense of pride and belonging speaking to her. He could not stop thinking about her and her words. It seemed little weird that they were chatting for the first time. It felt they knew each other from years and just they are catching up on their old days.

 

He got up from the chair and went to kitchen behind Piyali.

 

“So what your husband does? Yours in laws seems to be a quite rich family.”

 

“Yes that’s there. My father in law was a very successful barrister so being rich was easy to them. Rajat works for a multi national company as Vice President and naturally that keeps him busy as well.”

 

Kishore could feel sarcasm in her voice but didn’t say anything.

 

“So you tell, what’s happening in your life. When are you going to get married?”

 

Kishore blushed again but answered honestly.

 

“My Mom is looking for one but nothing has been finalised yet. Let’s see when anything materializes.”

 

They came to the drawing room with the tea and the cake. Suddenly Piyali asked something that startled both of them.

 

“So Kishore what made you bring here. You never spoke to me when we were in school?”

 

Kishore was taken aback by the question. He himself didn’t know what brought him here. All he knew was that he wanted to see her, talk to her now and say whatever he missed saying when he should have said them. But those things do not hold true now. She is happily married and there is no point saying all these now. Still he felt little tinge in his heart as if something is boiling inside. He felt a sudden courage in himself to say and do things that he had never thought of his forte.

 

He took out the cigarette from his pocket.

 

“Can I smoke?”

 

 

She picked the ashtray and put in front of him without saying anything. She constantly stared him and that made Kishore little nervous. He puffed nervously and the puff puffed his nerves.

 

Kishore looked down and said slowly, his voice trembling.

 

“I loved you a lot when I was in school and after so many years I still feel the same Piyali. I could not help but say this to you. I am sorry.”

 

The sound echoed in the entire room and then suddenly everything was silent. He could not take his head up and kept staring at her feet. She did not say anything. The silence prevailed and prevailed, god knows for how long. A tiny droplet of tear touched her feet. He looked up to see her eyes were red, and her cheek wet with teardrops. She was crying profusely. Her big bright eyes looked much bigger in the tear drops. He did not know what to say, and went near her and hold her hand. She cupped his palm so tightly that he felt her nails on his skin. They stayed like that for who knows how long, they could have stayed like that for years.

 

She looked at him, in his eyes.

 

“I tried to find out about you when you left the school. But no one knew about your whereabouts. I tried searching for you in all the colleges after my 12^th and when they wanted to marry me off. But then also I couldn’t find you. Finally after so many years, when I am married with a family of my own I saw your name in the book shop. I could not help but find out your address and write to you. I never thought you ever felt for me. I just wanted to speak to you once Kishore. I just wanted to find out how are you and what are you doing in life.”

 

Kishore hold her face in his palms and looked deep into her eyes. She continued.

 

“Why Kishore…why? Why you came back here now and said those things to me and making me go so weak now. I still love you Kishore. I could never love anyone as much as I loved you.”

 

Tears kept rolling down her dark eyes. Kishore felt his own eyes going wet. He recalled last time he cried was when he had left the school. They sat there embracing each other in silence.

 

It’s in the power of silence…that two souls can touch each other.

 

They touched each other that afternoon.

 

 

Jaane Tu….Ya Jaane Na (Review)

Abbas Tyrewala, the acclaimed writer of movies like Maqbool and Munnabhai MBBS has chosen a rather simple and no frill story for his directorial debut. The story of Jane Tu…has nothing much to offer in terms of its content but the way story has been told made all the difference. Jane tu…by no parameter can be considered a path breaking teen film like we have seen Ishq vishq or dil chahta hai. You will find traces of films like Chalte Chalte, Ishq Vishq, Dil Chahta Hai or even Hum Paanch (Ratna Pathak speaking to Naseerudhin Shah in photo frame) along with airport climax which has been tried nth time in bollywood. Basically it seemed that director tried to spoof old scenes of tried and tested love stories of past something that he already tried although as a writer in “Main Hoon Na”. But except few occasions it worked fine.

 

It’s this kind of candid, relatable freshness that characterises Abbas Tyrewala’s directorial debut, a deftly made film about friendship. There’s a pretty distinctive line between films trying to be innocent, and films that actually come across as charmingly naive as this one. The best thing of Jane Tu…is even though it’s a teen flick; it does not indulge itself in bath room jokes to tickle the funny bones of the audience which is very easy temptation post American Pie days. Its take on the friendship and relations is as innocent and naïve like small town school kids.

 

Another fact that makes Jaane Tu a little special — as is the case with most films about friendship — is a rock-solid ensemble cast that is mouthwateringly perfect. Take a bow, casting director Pakhi, this is a helluva nice set of good actors, with refreshingly unfamiliar faces.

The story revolves around a set of friends, there life in general and focuses on one couple that’s in love. They mistook their feelings as mere friendship and needed a series of events, match making etc to make them understand and acknowledge their feeling towards each other. Khan plays the peace-loving Jai Singh Rathore, more for the promise he had made to his activist mom Ratna Pathak rather than his real traits. He himself is oblivious of his actual self and keeps watching weird dreams of a masked man in horse with a sword. The story involves his friendship with effervescent Aditi and in process of finding love for himself; he ends up finding his own self.

 

We have seen similar stories time and again in bollywood but Jane Tu….stands out just because of the way subject has been handled and the performances of each one of the actor.

 

 

Here are few things in the movie that worked

 

1. The characterisation of each actor has been perfect and no way has any character been left without a proper boundary within which they have to perform. Even a small role of Rajat Kapur stands out and has been properly etched.

 

2. The acting is top-notch all through the film. Ratna Pathak is magnificent, Prateik Babbar bestows the film with angst and maturity, Jayant Kripalani and Anuradha Patel make a great affable couple, Rajat Kapur’s is awesome in such a small role, Naseeruddhin Shah is hilarious and paresh rawal as usual a delight to watch. But the onus of the entire film was on the group of six friends who carry the film on their shoulder. Each one does justification to there role whether its Karan Makhija as the pessimistic yet lovable Rotlu, Alishka Varde as Bombs, Nirav Mehta as highly accented gujju Jignesh, the one persistent yet affectionately etched caricature in the film and then there’s Sugandha Garg as the spirited, nickname-giving Shaleen, full of spunk.

 

3. But the actor to watch out was Genelia. It is really Genelia who steals the show. The actress is a real livewire on screen and conveys those annoying feelings of jealousy, confusion, irritability and fake happiness without any problem. Although her Hindi diction in many scenes was not proper but needless to say that added to her cuteness. I loved her in Boys many years ago but watching her in a Hindi flick is a treat.

 

4. The cinematography is good and the urbane feel has been captured properly which is very essential for a film like this.

 

5. Another thing that needs special mention is the back ground score. It is the back ground score that makes many scenes special. It hits you right at the time and never goes over bound or making it loud.

 

 

Things that did not work in the movie

1. This is the launching pad for Imran Khan and thus should have been the showcasing film for him. He might be cute but surely he did not have the charisma like his mamu jaan, at least not in this movie. His body language was quite restricted in initial scenes and facial expression stiff. Although in few scenes he was good like when he saved Manjari in the disc but that’s not all. He need to work more on his screen presence and body language as he might not be as lucky next time with such a great supporting star cast and great execution.

2. The film is painfully long. By the time film ends, it seems like an eternity. Editing was badly required for a lot of scenes. After some time, few sequences seem to be repeated.

3. The characters of love interests of Jay and Aditi was given more screen time than required.

4. Character of Amit (Aditi’s brother) as a physically or mentally challenged fellow was not properly etched. There was no explanation provided for his behaviors as well.

5. There is no variation in the pace of the film; hence it feels all the more slow and draggy sometimes.

6.  Screenplay could have been more taught and grappling and that would have made the movie all the more effective.

 

All in all, this is what is called popcorn entertainment with lots of popcorn and soda in Sunday afternoon with friends.

 

G.O.D – Grand Old Dawn

Disclaimer: The thoughts and ideas mentioned in this article are totally mine. These views are not against any individual or groups. Each one has their own views and opinion on the topic and I respect them as well. I would like to have a free and open mind to assimilate more ideas on the topic which is as vast and vivid as the opinion on the topic.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. – One of the speech by Nelson Mandela

If there is one discussion that would evoke emotion from each one of us, will be the topic of God. Nothing apart from the essence of the almighty is so well ingrained within us that we sometime tend to forget or realize the source of it. It hardly matters whether an individual has grown up in developed countries like America, Britain etc or in civilization as barbaric and savage as in the jungles of Africa. Each civilization has manifested, that belief in god is something that have come up irrespective of the region, social need or any particular purpose of it. Each civilization has a different history to tell accompanied with wide variety of genetically wired humans in each of it. It is sometime difficult to compass the concept of god being so alike in each of the civilization as if the source is one. Still, people around the word over ages have believed in polytheism, concept of multiple gods. Each religion has a different god, Hinduism itself have some few million gods to worship.

As a logical thinker, I have always wondered how god can be different in each language and society given the fact that I understood the purpose of god as a father figure to combat the eternal feeling of fear. I have always believed that fear is something that is inherently human and any other form of emotion arises with manipulation of fear.

As remarked by Richard Dawkins in his much acclaimed book “The Selfish gene”, every individual or rather gene is propelled by selfishness to survive and evolve and not the altruism that was the previous popular belief. The selfish nature of the gene in my opinion is because of the inherent fear of survival. People have the liberty to choose some belief and this is the one that I decided to choose.

Having said that, I could never comprehend the meaning of god given the fact I was always confused between which god to worship or believe in. later in my school days I came across the concept of monotheism that is belief in one god. I found it much easy to convince my logical mind but along with the concept came up confusion to decide the form of god I should believe in. For years my mind wandered from one form to another trying to hold on to a state which could be permanent fixture of the form of god. I did not find any. Innumerable deities for innumerable purposes could not convince me the reality and validity of their existence, and slowly I chucked out any possibility of the existence of human god, to the extent of being an atheist.

But might be we humans are programmed in such a way that we can not escape the bond between us and the god. We all are tangled in a huge and complex thread that connects each one of us, like bubbles in an ocean. That might connect with god as well. Somewhere in my heart I felt an eternal quest for that search, search for the meaning of our existence, search I had envisioned in some wild nights staring at the stars when I was a kid. The quest was lost in the worldly battles and I convinced myself with the denial of any such existence of god firmly.

As a child I was more intrigued by the mystic philosophy of science rather than the vivid display of religious and mythological doctrines. And I soon decided that science would be the ultimate answer to the existence of life, as I had already failed in my quest to understand life reasoning it with the existence of god. Not that I made any specific effort to understand it but belief I feel is more powerful than the actual manifestation of the idea that you believed in first place.

Recently I read a book called “Code Named God” and my belief in science strengthened more. I felt science provided more logical answers and direction to the quest that I had long buried deep inside my heart.

Coming to science, we all know that each one of us is made of tiny particles called atoms which in turn made up of further small particles. Science has already shown that these particles are nothing but a form of energy. For that matter any mass is just a different way to look into energy and nothing apart from it. They are the two sides of the same coin. The energy that we perceive in different forms is nothing but different fields acting at different level. Much recently it was believed that each field is different to other in terms of its properties and the jurisdiction of area where it acts. But with recent developments, the unified field theory allows all of the fundamental forces between elementary particles to be written in terms of a single field. The same field when acting at different temperature and distance gave rise to different energy levels which became the basic premise for the formation of matter and in turn the entire universe. It has been postulated that universe started some 15 billion light years ago with a big bang. But what happened just after the big bang? The disequilibrium created the big bang and the huge energy that was created expanded. With expansion, the energy level fell to a certain extent which gave rise to the creation of the first particle of the universe and then slowly atoms, molecules of hydrogen and subsequently each element came into picture. These elements took the form of universe we know it today.

But the question remains, why did big bang happen at the first place? It has been shown that the there are enough negative energy in the universe and the total energy of the universe is 0. So can something be created from nothing? Can zero energy give rise to something as vast and vivid as this universe? Who was present before the big bang to see it happen? Are we any way connected to that single point, just before the big bang? It seems to be taxing to our human mind.

Let me illustrate a simple experiment that was done to understand the non locality of the particle behavior. It is well known factor that to observe any incident, the observer has to be present in the near vicinity (Not considering other means that could make the incident visible). A particular laser was made to strike a crystal to create 2 entangled photons. With entangle, I mean these two photons were supposed to have properties that were dependent on each other. That is the property of one proton do not exists without the existence of the property of other photon. Once these two photons were created by the laser striking the particular crystal, they were separated in two different directions. That is the two entangled photons were now separated in space by quite a distance. This experiment although easy to illustrate was no simple feat given the fact the apparatus used were not recently developed, even though the theory of the experiment was postulated by Einstein to understand the grand unified theory or the theory of everything. Coming back to the experiment, it was observed that when one of the photons’ properties was changed, it changed the property of the other photon even though the other entangled photon was not connected to the first photon by any means and was separated in space. This experiment proved that to be connected to one another do not require being in the same space or even in the same time frame.

The experiment illustrated few very important property of any particle or field. That is a particle can be entangled to some other point which might be at the other end of the universe and still can behave in similar ways. And with that another question also gets answered. An event can happen in absence of an observer. Thus the occurrence of big bang was not dependent on the availability of any observer.

Regarding the concept I was discussing, how something could be created from nothing. Is it possible for zero energy to give rise of something as vast as universe? But we should understand that the word “nothing” do not have any significance. “Nothing” can not be seen in totality of itself. Absence of “something” gives rise to “nothing”. Zero can not be attributed just as nothing. It is mid point of positive and negative numbers. It is the starting point for two sides of positive and negative increments to the extent of infinity on the both side. It is opposite of infinity as well. If we understand the existence of universe as two extremes of positive and negative energies, it is not difficult to comprehend that zero might have given rise to whatever existing as of today.

With the advances in science it has been easy to understand the existence of a particle and the formation of the universe. We have been able to justify and understand the matter as it exists today in different forms and its relation with the energy and the fields. But why we are the “thinking being”, trying to understand our own existence. Is mind and matter one and the same or they are different?

As the great mathematician and philosopher “Descartes” made clear distinction between the thinking substance that distinguishes us as a man and the matter that makes up the physical universe including our own body. Descartes defined matter in terms of two properties only – extension is space (length, breadth, depth, time) and motion. All other apparent properties depend on the perceiver and are the result of the impact of physical objects on the sense organs. Mind as he proclaimed is essentially non-physical or incorporeal. The mind that makes us understand and question the existence of life is the mind that exists in each of us. It is something like mind trying to understand itself. It is more like understanding the link between us and the single point where the origin exists. He also argued that, in contrast to the physical world, the mind is an indivisible unit. This is also the philosophy of almost all the religion. So if mind is an indivisible unit, where does the source of it exist?

Or the source is same for both mind and matter. It is very unlikely that when the universe is so much over simplified in terms of its existence to a single point that it would have different sources, one for mind and other for matter. It is just a matter of time that we realise that both mind and matter are interwoven and interlinked and the existence of one is not possible in absence of other, similar to the experiments of the entangled photons. That is the existence of the entire material universe is not possible without the existence of the mind in each particle that exists within that material universe. Everything within the universe is being entangled to that single point of zero energy which is the source of all. We are nothing but part of that source and the source exists in each of us. Although separated by couple of billion light years our mind is still entangled to that point which is the source of everything. May be that we should call as god.

God creates out of nothing. Wonderful you say. Yes, to be sure, but he does what is still more wonderful: he makes saints out of sinners. –Kierkegaard

The 3 mistakes of my life – Review

This is the new novel by “Chetan Bhagat”, and those who have already read 5 point someone or one night @ call centre would not need any introduction. For those who haven’t, please grab a copy of 5 point someone and finish it off. It is worth reading. I would not say the same for one night @ call centre though. Anyways, let’s get to the purpose of this blog and that is the review of his latest venture.

There are few things we Indian can not live without. They are
1. Religion
2. Politics
3. Cricket and
4. Emotions

And if the story includes friendship, father-son troubled relationship, mom-son bonding, love angle with your best friend’s sister, urge for success, riots, cricket matches, deaths of beloved one and finally suicide, I think the entire gamut of emotions are covered. Chetan has done exactly the same. He knows what the pulse of an Indian reader is. Everyone can identify with a guy who wants to make it big in his own business, a guy who wanted to be a cricketer but failed badly, a guy who just has no aim in his life and can do anything for his friends, a girl who just wants to be free from the clutches of small town family mindset etc.

The basic plotline is similar to 5 point someone, with three friends and there struggle for success, their mistakes and the outcome of it. The only thing is setup is much bigger and real here to accommodate the entire generation of youth as the audience rather than keeping it to handful which was the case with 5 point someone.

There are few things which are worth mentioning

1. CB wanted to keep the setup as a small town so that to connect to the larger group. The city (Ahmedabad) chosen was perfect as it has all the development and infrastructure a big city would boast of but still it contains the small town mentality.

2. The entire story was given a real feel so that readers feel as one of the protagonists portrayed. CB has brought himself intelligently in the narrative to bring that authentic feel. The timing of the entire setup was chosen such that it could encompass the real events like ‘Bhuj earthquake’, ‘historical match between India and Australia’, ‘godhra kand’ etc which enhances the real feel.

3. He has applied the optimization techniques (might be learned in MBA school) on each emotion and dished out a very perfect balanced and tasty story.

4. “3 mistakes” captures a reality where young people in small town India are less likely to make out in bars and discos than on building terrace. The Indian style love story where ‘true-close-friendship’ can happen while studying maths problems together rather than at a coffee shop – especially in small town India.

5. The feisty of a small town girl where medical entrance exam is just an excuse to escape to an anonymous place. Where your brother won’t be standing by to thrash every guy who gives you a second glance.

There are number of pitfalls as well. There is nothing much in terms of the literary content in the novel and if you are looking for some real good literary work then please keep away. This is pure masala. The climax is bit filmy and the end was predictable. There are some sequences which does not seem believable, like the kid flying to Australia for cricket training etc.

I feel he is more of a script writer rather than a novelist. His language is lucid, fast paced and youthful. Something that we loved in films like “Socha na tha” and “Jab we met” (Both by Imtiaz Ali and recently Chetan Bhagat has teamed up with Imitiaz for a film. Hope it delivers double shot keeping the fact it conjure the efforts of 2 calibre person)

To cut the story short, if you are looking for some light and masala read, pick up a copy.

Abdul, The Cobbler (Part 1)

The big clock of the church at the street end stroked eleven. He was almost late for his daily routine but he showed no interest in making things faster, rather he immersed himself more in his morning prayers, convincing god with his last wish of the day. He had always loved to be in the house of god. A place that he considered to be his own apart from the small shop in the corner of the hustling market where he sit daily on the lacerated rag mending shoes, Abdul was a cobbler by profession.

Abdul wanted the clock to pace up the jangling sound it was making so that he can concentrate again on his arguments with god in the mosque. It still had a few rounds to complete for the count of eleven.

While he was a kid he thought he could be anything but a cobbler. He dreamt of being a cricketer, a film star like dharmendra or in worst case a businessman sitting at his desk giving instruction to his workers. But over his growing years he realized he could do no better than finding new ways of keeping a shoe live longer. He ended up taking his century old family tradition going over for one more generation. Now he feels the same agony for the ruptured leather pieces that any surgeon would have felt for the fleshes he comes across, and Abdul always satisfies his customers by showing surgeon like precision in his job.

Over the years, shoes have seized to be just a commodity for Abdul. They are the window through which he looked at the world. He was a mute spectator of the changing society through the change in the patterns of the shoe design. He could smell the prosperity of his client in the shoes that they wear. Black shiny soft leather smelt rich and over polished at times. Rugged shoes smelt of sweat and unwashed socks. Rich sandals with thin straps and high heels smelt of powder and cream, always fresh as if it was an extension of the owners own beautiful legs. Others smelt of cheap nail polishes and colours that they apply around the border of their feet. He showed equal interest to all kind of pairs and charged everybody the same. He felt, his service is equally important for the affluent and the needy. A man of principles who did not believed in cheating others for his own gains.

Prosperity for abdul was synonymous with the pair of shoes that anyone owns. He being a cobbler and connoisseur of shoes could not own a decent pair and that used to pain him more than anything else. He looked at his own pairs. It was nothing but a rubber sole with straps sewn over it. Strap for each foot was different. One was black and other brown, but it did not matter as long as it was doing its job.

Abdul once went to the most posh shoe store in the main market of the town, one that housed shoes with exorbitant prices. A shoe called “Clark’s England Code” in the front glass shelve of the shop caught Abdul in his flight of fantasy. He was bowled over by the lushness, the rich texture of the shoe. The leather looked so soft, that it felt like cotton and colour so shiny that could be substituted as mirror. When he knew the name, he believed that even clerks in England could afford such a shoe and for the first time he wished he should have been born in England and not in India.

“Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure. (Edsger Dijkstra)”

Abdul measured his success with possession of those pair of shoes. It was not in the league of winning the kite competition or getting married to the love of his life. It was the vanity. His sole purpose of existence now defined success for him. Failure meant he rejected himself worthy of being alive.

Along with the daily visit to the mosque, visiting the shop became the regular ritual for Abdul. He used to stand in front of the shop for hours every evening staring at the pair. At night he would count the notes and keeping half of it aside, recounting them each day.

(Contd. in the below post)

Abdul, The cobbler (Part 2)

It was a Friday morning with blazing sun raised much above the horizon with its glowing radiance. Abdul was climbing down the stairs of the mosque after finishing the daily prayer when he saw the pair of “Clark’s England Code”. A man as affluent as the shoe removed the pair and kept it over the side of the stairs. He was tall, fair with long hairs covering his eyes and a glittering ear ring in his right ear. He was wearing a navy blue trouser and a white starched shirt and looked complete with the pair of “Clark’s England Code”

Abdul could not resist the temptation of trying those valuable pair. As soon as the man climbed up the stairs getting out of Abdul’s sight, he slipped into those pair and it was a perfect fit.

Not necessity, its desire – the love of luxury is the demon of men. Let them have everything – health, food, a place to live, entertainment – they are and remain unhappy and low-spirited. For the demon waits and waits to be satisfied. This is the blessed necessity by which the interest of men is always driving them to satisfy the demon and seizes all crime to be mean and ugly.

He started walking wearing the shoe towards the outer gate of the mosque. Theft seized to be a sin at that moment. Everything else meant less than those prized possession. He felt odd in his stained shirt and checkered lungi and tried to solace his heart with the comfort at his feet. All eyes felt peering at him stripping him naked in the house of god. He tried not to look into eyes of any passerby. It felt everybody is staring at his feet. He felt like running out of the gate, to run as fast as he can. The sun overhead seemed too hot for him and he started sweating profoundly. He tried to control his speed, to walk in more natural manner.

He was out of the gate. He could not guess the time it took him to cross the 50 yards courtyard that lay between the stairs of the mosque and the main gate. He was now a thief. He stole those pair and was now the new owner of the “Clark’s England Code”. He started feeling ashamed for himself, a thief who committed a sin that he considered to be the only sin in this world. Every other sin he felt is a variation of theft.

He broke the shari’a law, became a Haram, and that pained his heart more. He remembered the teachings from his father

“Stealing is the 23rd sin. If you steal something, the shariah obligation is to return the money to its owners. The actual money should always be returned to them; else you will be in hell forever”

Picking the shoe in his hand, Abdul went inside the gate. He crossed the courtyard and kept the shoe in its proper place where the man had left it initially. He went inside the tomb and found the man still in his prayers with bent knees and palm over his face. His eyes closed. Abdul came out of the mosque with a much lighter heart. He was really happy for the first time after he had been to the shoe shop. He felt an emotion of aloofness, no longer felt the urge or temptation in his heart.

Later that evening he went to the shoe shop and found the glass shelve empty as expected. Abdul went inside the shop and asked one of the staff.

“Who bought the shoe that was over that rack yesterday?”

“Do not ask man. In the morning a person came in blue trouser and starched white shirt. He was quite tall and also wore a ring in his right ear. He looked so rich. He tried that shoe and taking advantage of the crowd in the morning hours, left the shop without paying. He should be ashamed of himself. He stole our most costly shoe in the shop. He is a thief. He can never be happy and his soul will be in hell forever”

The staff went to attend his other customers leaving Abdul gaping at the empty shelve.